This Takes Me Back…

I noticed that they have brought back what they are calling Velvet Shoes.

I can remember these only too well from years ago as they were a pain in the a**e.  If you deigned to touch one foot against the other or knocked them on a chair leg, or even looked at them it seemed, you ended up with either a scuff mark or a black line on them.  There was absolutely no way on earth you could then eradicate the mark that always stood out like “a sore thumb”.  So unless you were REALLY careful you ended up with a tatty pair of shoes after about two wears.  I can remember trying everything to try and get rid of the marks but nothing ever worked.  I just hope the new ones will be made of an improved material since I had mine. 

Most things seem to be made of better material these days though, apart from the ones that have just TOO much elastane in them and then they just feel like wearing a swimming costume (well the old fashioned swimming costumes now).  It would feel strange now to wear a pair of jeans that hadn’t got a bit of lycra in them so some things have definitely improved as the rigid jeans are so, well - rigid, when you sit down in them for any length of time.  Why is it always that when you buy something (especially jeans) that fit perfectly they shrink a bit in the wash so are too tight or short and yet if they are a bit too loose or long when you get them they never shrink one millimetre when you wash them? 

Another thing that I am pleased they have improved upon is cotton t-shirts.  Years ago they ALWAYS went baggy at the back and got shorter so it is great that they don’t do that any more with the newer materials.  I always find though that the best looking t-shirts have elastane in them which I find really annoying, as if it is warm t-shirt weather who on earth wants to wear something with elastane in it to make them hotter?  It is a strict no-no when I go dancing especially.  I find all the newer jogging/yoga type trousers have elastane in them as well – I know it makes them clingier so the slimmer ones look better in them but by the nature of the material it makes you sweat more and isn’t the idea to wear them for comfort and ease while you are exercising which in itself makes you hot and sweaty, so why make it worse by wearing clothes with a high elastane content in them.  I am sure they can make them look just as good with just a very very small percentage of elastane in them to keep their shape.

Here are the last of those interesting Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

1. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

3. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

4. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

5. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

And lastly here is todays chuckle:

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up..'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.